I've been really busy lately, yet I've been feeling pretty lonely, in a weird way. But at the same time, I think about relationships and just want to crawl under a rock. Dating sucks. It's hard. It's like going on job interviews. There are reasons I just don't do it. I just kind of want to wait and let it come to me, but that doesn't really get you anywhere, either. Maybe it's because I'm just not looking that hard right now, and the past few times I've actually tried being in a relationship, it's just been too much for me, emotionally and physically. It exhausts me. Relationships are time consuming, and can be stressful, and are really fun, but there aren't enough hours in the day for work, my life, and a relationship - let alone more than one relationship if that were ever to happen. I don't know how people do it.
I guess I'm not really ready to sacrifice my life to anyone right now. I like getting up at 6am with 8 hours of sleep behind me, as weird as that sounds. I like not having to impress someone day in and day out. I like having my schedule and doing what I want with my time and not have to juggle someone else's schedule, too.
But, as I said, it gets lonely. Sometimes you just want to cuddle with someone, and feel loved. Cats can only go so far in that regard.
I don't really know what I'm doing wrong. Or what I'm doing right. Or actually, what I'm doing at all.
Freedom or Relationship: Which is better? Or is it better to have something in between?
Jack Draco | 22 June, 2012 23:58
I feel that it's best to be something in between. There's two views of relationships, post-game-wise, either every one except the one you're currently in is unsuccessful, or any relationship that fulfilled you for any time and you grew from was successful. Either way, there is heartache involved more often than not. As such, a cuddle-buddy (or three) and a FWB (or twenty) to fulfill the various needs that you have for relationships. Because you're keeping the different forms of intimacy separate, it keeps you out of relationships until you feel deeply enough about someone to take it further and allows all of your desires to be fulfilled.
Always use protection, kids.
Jack Draco | 22 June, 2012 23:59
As such, a cuddle-buddy (or three) and a FWB (or twenty) to fulfill the various needs that you have for relationships *is ideal*.
Bad proofing, sorry.
Small Girl Big World | 26 June, 2012 13:09
"...or any relationship that fulfilled you for any time and you grew from was successful." Yes! That's what I've been thinking about a lot lately. Relationships in the past might not have "worked out," but maybe they worked in other ways, like teaching me things and expanding my horizons, etc. And I agree, it would be ideal to have various people and like you said, keep the intimacy separate until you can take it further. But I don't have time for all those people. =P